Yesterday, I heard the news about the church bus that overturned in Indy and the lives that were lost in the accident. The grief must be unbearable. I don’t even know these people but as I prayed for the family and friends of the young, expectant couple who died leaving a toddler an orphan and the mom of 5, I cried. There are so few words that can be said. When my brother died at 16 from a gun accident, many words were said with good intentions but made it more painful none-the-less. The words that did get me through, though, were from those that were honest and told me that they don’t understand, either, it won’t make sense to us but God loves me and is there for me. So I went to Him over and over again. He doesn’t mind when we raise our fist and ask Him, “Why?” David did it. He was called a “man after God’s own heart” and God, while He called David out on a lot of stuff, didn’t rebuke him for expressing his fear, anger and sadness to God. When Scott died, I went back to college and the friends who knew what to say said very little. They held me, let me cry and told me to give it to God because He’s the only One Who knows what to do with it.
My Isabelle was admitted to the hospital at 4 weeks old the day Katrina hit. Having nothing else to do in a hospital room with an infant, I watched the news in horror. We were there 5 days as I watched my baby girl struggling to get and keep nutrition in her then turned to the TV screen to see people lose loved ones and suffer. It was then my favorite band decided to release early the following single from Wherever You Are to be an encouragement, to direct people to World Vision for donations and as a benefit for relief efforts. There has been so much tragedy in our nation and world. Catastrophe hits everyone at some point and the disasters and calamity will only increase as the world descends more and more into decadence and greed. Scripture tells us this. So what to say when friends and family are hit? Cry out to Jesus. For the families hurting so close to home in Indy, that’s all I have. I am so sorry.
This song is one of many Third Day songs that has blessed me and helped me through tough times. So many have been heartened by this. If you haven’t heard it before, I hope it blesses you. If you have, I hope it blesses you again.
What’s not shared is lost,
My Aunt Coralie died yesterday. Due to the fact that she hadn’t been to church in years and didn’t have friends, it was decided there will be no funeral. I have mixed feelings about my aunt and her passing away. She babysat me, came to the hospital when I had my first baby and brought a large, pink bunny due to Easter being the following week…I think she may have visited with at least one other birth. She was tickled each time I had a baby and just thought it wonderful we had so many. Somewhere along the line, she was introduced to alcohol and started drinking herself to death. When her health started to decline and she became near blind and housebound, unable to go out to get her booze, she replaced that addiction with food. She was already overweight but her drinking and dietary habits sent her body to the point of no return. I think she was 55. That’s pretty young, IMO. I was angry with her for awhile as her health became a burden on my mom. My mom took care of my bedridden Grandma and Grandpa for years and she found herself trying to take care of a bitter, miserable, sick alcoholic who was ungrateful and witchy to my mom all of the time. Yes, she had been sweet and still could be but alcohol ruins people. Though I would get angry at her I kept finding myself just feeling sorry for her and praying for her. I prayed she would remember the seeds planted when she had sought after God, was baptized and attended a church. I am heartbroken that a person can go through life only to come to the end friendless and feeling so miserable you’re willing to drown your sorrows in booze until it takes your life. I pray I live in such a way that friends and family will want a service of some kind to say goodbye not because I want to be popular, but because I want to be a blessing to others. This is not to say my aunt wasn’t a blessing. Obviously, I was blessed by her being my aunt or I wouldn’t feel grief. I just wish she had found herself by looking outside of herself and looking to God.
1 Peter 2:12
Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.