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Top 10 Things You Hate to Hear on an Airplane

1.This is your captain speaking. I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but if the child out on the starboard wing belongs to anyone, would you please alert the flight attendant?

2.I’m sorry sir but you have one more child than you have tickets for.

3.Boy, Dad, you sure made a loud noise in the bathroom…and what is that smell?

4.Dad, wasn’t there an engine attached to the wing when we took off?

5.Psst, Dad, this big fat lady next to me is squishing me.

6.I know I just went, but I gotta go again.

7.How much longer?

8.How much longer?

9.How much longer?

10. Honey, you take care of the kids and wake me when the plane lands.

and a bonus:

“This is your captain speaking. I have some bad news. We have lost all navigational & communication devices and and we have no idea where we are. We are almost out of fuel and the engines are failing one by one.But I have good news…we are making excellent time.”

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